Sunday, July 10, 2016

This is my Story, This is my Song

It's easy for me to forget that I have a purpose. Sure, I know that I am the keeper of our home, the wife of Jeremiah and the mother of two awesome kids.

I know, for now, that I am called to be a stay-at-home mom. I love pointing our kids towards Jesus.

Recently I have found myself feeling drained from the day to day tasks of motherhood. I found myself wondering if my only real purpose was emptying and reloading our dishwasher. The days seemed long and monotonous. Were those the same cheerios that I swept up yesterday? How are all these clothes dirty again?

But this morning, the Lord had a few reminders for me. All this rambling may not make sense to you - but the Lord was speaking to me. Our small group began a study about the doors that God opens. In discussion, I was reminded that it's not always big billboard moments - but often, God just wants me to be expectant of the things that He wants to use me to do. Sure, He is going to accomplish His purpose whether I obey His prompting or not. But how awesome that He invites me to be involved? And how sad that I've been using the excuse of "I'm too busy" or "I'm just a stay at home mom."

I thought back to my Encounter days (read about that part of my story here). Those days seemed so full of "ministry." But really, it was just about my committing to the Lord each day. Over and over again, He had to remind me that "It's not about Cindy....but it's all about Him." And in the midst of having that submissive attitude, I was able to see the Lord do some amazing things.

These days...I've forgotten to look for those open doors. When the Lord prompts me to send an encouraging note or text, I need to act! When I see a discouraged mom, I need to invite her over to my messy house for a playdate and a chat. Just because I've stepped off a ministry team and into my home doesn't mean that the Lord stopped opening doors for me to be used by Him.

The Lord continued to speak to my heart during the worship in our service. As we sang the familiar words of Mac Powell's version of Blessed Assurance, tears filled my eyes.

Perfect submission
All is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blessed
Watching and waiting
Looking above
Filled with His goodness
Lost in His love

It's no coincidence that I painted the words to the chorus on a canvas just last week. The song has always been a favorite of mine - but this morning, I was challenged to once again give up the lie that "It's all about Cindy." Instead, I will find that rest when I am perfectly submissive. And this canvas will serve as my reminder. (Because we all know I am going to have to keep learning this important submission lesson). 

I want the story and song of my life to be my praising my Savior all the day long. Even when that day is filled with crumbs and diapers. 

I cried through the bridge of the final song we sang this morning. It is my prayer - 

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity. 

Lord, I want to step out of this mundane attitude. I want to be looking for Your open doors. Forgive me, for once again, thinking it was all about me. Thank you for another chance. 

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