I've been thinking a lot the past few days. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe it's because my baby is 9 months old now, and I can't believe how fast time is flying. Or maybe I've just swept up too many cereal puffs...I've just been spending a lot of time thinking about this phase of my life.
Hudson is very mobile now. So, I seem to spend much of my day chasing him. When I'm not in the floor playing, I'm sweeping up little pieces of dropped food or picking up toys. My "free time" is filled with laundry and dishes. My wardrobe usually consists of a t-shirt and yoga pants. My hair is usually in a pony tail. To some, it may seem less than glamorous. But to Hudson, I'm his mom - and in the floor is right where he wants me. He doesn't care if my hair is fixed or not - he just wants my attention and needs my care. When I think about the privilege I have, I get a little weepy.
I know... this way of life isn't for everyone. I know...some women have to work outside the home. I can only speak for myself when I say, I am glad that I am a stay-at-home-mom. I am so thankful to have a husband who works hard to provide for our family so that I can stay at home with Hudson. It's where the Lord has me for this phase of my life. I do love spending my day making our house a home.
I don't stay home because I don't have degrees or experience to do anything else. It's is my choice. And for me, it's one of the best choices I have ever made. Sure, it means sacrifices - I get excited over $2 pants from Goodwill instead of buying bags of stuff from my favorite stores at the mall. I shop at Aldi for our groceries. I cut coupons. I don't get out of the house much. But to me, those sacrifices are worth it.
My mom, who stayed at home with us, told me "It was my favorite occupation! The rewards were extreme!"
When Hudson reaches for me, gives me a smile, waves as I enter the room - my heart is full and I am so content. But Satan seems to constantly try to get me to doubt my position, making me feel worthless and less than what I am. Deep down, I know that I am in the exact place that God has me, and when I remember that, I get excited and pumped up. But if Satan can get me doubting - I lose that drive to make every moment count. I forget to look for teachable moments with Hudson. And, I guess that's right where Satan wants me -- depressed and ineffective. I recognize the lies that he throws my way - and I've asked the Lord to help me overcome.
AND HE IS...
My mom had me type up a verse for her to give as a gift at a baby shower. Even, though I was doing the project for her, the verse ended up ministering to me. I plan to frame this somewhere I can read it daily. The Word of God seems to be my best form of defense.
A few days ago, it came up in a conversation that I have a BA and Masters in Women's Ministry. Someone jokingly referred to it as simply an "MRS" degree - (you know, the girls that go to school JUST to find a husband). I immediately felt the need to defend myself, tell my GPA, give a verbal resume of the things I've done and the experience I have -- but then, I thought, "I really wouldn't want it any other way. I met my awesome husband at school - and I now have a family that I wouldn't trade for anything - I LOVE my life! And God is using me in the exact way He wants."
Today, at Hudson's 9 month check up (He is 18 lbs, 9 ounces and 27.25 inches...), the doctor asked if Hudson was at home with me during the day or at a day care. I was happy and content to tell her that I stayed at home. But less than an hour later, I was asked my career title. I felt the doubt start to overtake me as I replied, "I'm just a homemaker and a stay-at-home-mom." The person on the phone, who doesn't know me at all, ended up encouraging me when she said, "Those years go fast - enjoy every minute." I am going to try not to say "just" a homemaker. Instead, I want to say it proudly and without doubt. It's my privilege.
I received a few more bits of encouragement - My youth pastor's wife sent a note to me via Facebook. Although the message was a reply to something I had sent her a few days ago, one sentence was exactly what I needed to hear. "I love seeing that you're already reading the Bible and devotions with Hudson, creating such a great bond and routine for growing him up to know God."
Another friend sent me a picture of a quote that made my heart swell. In fact, I put it on Instragram immediately.
So, I approached bath time a little differently tonight. In the words of Beth Moore, "I moved my mind up." I did not want to live defeated.
We usually sing as Hudson splashes and kicks in the water. I say "we" because as I sing, Hudson has started "singing" too. He holds out long notes, making random syllables with his sweet little mouth. It's totally different that when he babbles. He sings... Really!
But tonight, as I sang an old song that I learned years ago, I got a little teary. What a privilege to teach him the words to a song that tells of the great things God has done. A little miracle named Hudson was sitting before me - totally healthy. So, we loudly sang these words (Well, I sang the words and Hudson just sang his own random things...)
How do you know God is true?
I could tell a tale or two
How 'bout you?
Tell me, yeah.
Tell me, tell me, do
'Cause when your life's on the line
You gotta know He's there for you
Every time, I'll be reminding you!
It's my privilege to stay at home with Hudson every day. It's my privilege to be the one to teach him simple things like picking up his food or clapping his hands. It's my privilege to play in the floor all day long. It's my privilege to rock him to sleep and comfort him when he is upset. It's my privilege to sing him songs about God and the great things He has done. It's my privilege to read him Bible stories. It's my privilege to tell Hudson about the miracles surrounding his birth and what awesome things the Lord has done for our family. It's my privilege to raise him to learn to love the Lord. It's my privilege. And I wouldn't trade it for any career or any other way of life. Though many may try to convince me otherwise, I love staying at home with Hudson
It's my privilege.