In the Mess and Chaos...

Yesterday, like many days, I felt that I was failing at all areas of life...as a housekeeper, as a mom, as a wife, as a grocery shopper, as a small business owner...Our pastor spoke Sunday about Martha's heart condition and busyness being her downfall. I've pondered over the importance of having margin in my life so that I have room (and time) to say "yes" when the Lord prompts.

Interestingly enough, I started a new Bible study today...the topic is prayer...and I must admit, this is another area where I am a failure. I'm not very good, or very consistent with my prayer life. I know how powerful prayer is. I know how vital it is. But somehow, it seems to always end up on the bottom of my priority list. I was excited about a new study...but also nervous - not wanting to admit my past forgetfulness in this area. Not wanting to admit that I needed a little help.

 

But I was reminded of the story of Susanna Wesley - a mother of nineteen children in the 17th century. I can only imagine her to-do list each day. Historians tell us that she was known for putting her apron over her head to signal to her children that she had entered her prayer time. "Susanna Wesley knew that she couldn't make it through the day without recognizing her weakness and her need for God's strength. She communed with Him in the mess and the chaos. She knew that it was better to meet with the Lord under an apron than not to meet with Him at all." (Well Watered Women, BREATHE - 40 Days of Prayer)

Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked,

or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. 

But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. 

They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.

Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. 

But not the wicked! They are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind. 

They will be condemned at the time of judgment.

Sinners will have no place among the godly. 

For the Lord watches over the path of the godly, but the path of the wicked leads to destruction. 

That first chapter in the book of Psalms talks of the importance of delighting in God's Word, meditating on it day and night, and choosing the right people to influence us. I do want to bear fruit. I do want to be on the "path of the godly." And I do need to admit the importance of stopping to meditate on God's Word and commune with Him. It doesn't matter how busy my day is. It doesn't matter what the world tells me is most important. It doesn't matter if I feel like a failure. I must remember that time with Him is vital to "prosper" (vs. 3).

As I read those familiar words, I also thought of the godly influencers in my life. I thought of a 5th grade Sunday School teacher who motivated me to memorize this first chapter in Psalms. Team mates on Encounter who lived out their love for Jesus and taught me to love Bible study. Mentors and professors in college. Friends. People I've served with at church. And even some people that I've never met but their written words resonate well with me, leaving me yearning for more of Jesus.

The right influencers. The right priorities. The right Book (the Word). The right perspective of prayer. The right margins in my life. This is how to succeed in God's eyes.

And, I've decided I may need to start wearing an apron, or at least hanging one in my kitchen...to remind me of Susanna Wesley and her realization that she could "commune with Him in the mess and the chaos.

Word Before World...they are never too young!

As many do, I have prayed for a phrase to focus on this year.  I've resolved to clean up the house at night because I love the fresh start in the morning. I don't mean clean base boards...I just mean dishes and toys.

A "picked up" house in the morning is magical, but I also wanted a goal that would stir my affections for Jesus. Well Watered Women pitched the idea of WORD BEFORE WORLD. I am loving the idea of training myself to reach for the Word before I reach for my phone. Not just first thing in the morning, but also throughout the day.

Our mornings are pretty normal here...after I get the kids breakfast, I help them start a cartoon or get out an activity for them so that I can read my Bible. While they are occupied, I have my time with Jesus. I believe that it is super important for them to see me in the Word and to see that Jesus is a vital part of my day...but is that enough?

I read the sweetest article this morning about Word Before World for Little Ones... So many resources. So many concepts to ponder. It made me immediately realize they are not too little for Word Before World.

Routine, schedule, planned activities...everyone seems to function better in this household when they know what is expected. When my babies were very small, we established a bedtime routine. It helped them to wind down and know what was coming next. Even to this day, we follow a version of that same routine every night. Sure, it changes as they grow and mature, but the routine helps us all.

Why would a routine time with Jesus be any different?

After reading that article (you really should read it!!), I paused my time in the Word, turned off the TV and told the kids to meet me on the couch. I grabbed a new Bible story book and told them that we were going to start our mornings with some Jesus time.

We read. We talked. I answered and asked questions. We prayed. We thanked God for sending Jesus to help our sin problem and asked Him to help us to act like Jesus today. We prayed for sick friends. And then started listening to some kid's Jesus songs...

The time was sweet. The time was quick (probably less than 10 minutes). But it felt so right.

Even now, the kids are singing and playing together in the living room (so glad I picked it up last night !!!). And sure, some may say that's just a coincidence...But I am choosing to believe that Jesus makes the difference.

I pray my kids start to see our Jesus time as a regular part of their day. I've asked the Lord to give me the discipline to cultivate this habit in their lives.

It does matter. They aren't too young. Jesus makes the difference.

Word before World. 

Chosen by God to be a Mom

Now that I am a mother, the story of Mary seems to take on a new light. Before, it was easiest to focus on the angel...the lack of room...the stable...the shepherds rushing to find the baby.

But this year, as I read that familiar account in Luke 2, I found myself reading the words and imagining all those "mom emotions" that I am sure Mary possessed.

In the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, "Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you! 

Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. "Don't be afraid, Mary," the angel told her, "For you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name Him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give Him the throne of His ancestor David. And He will reign over Israel forever; His kingdom will never end!

Mary asked the angel, "But how can this happen? I am a virgin."

The angel replied, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High. What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she has conceived a son and is now in her sixth month. For the word of God will never fail. 

Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." And the angel left her. 

A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary's greeting, Elizabeth's child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 

Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, "God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said." 

Luke 1:26-45, NLT

The angel called Mary favored (vs. 30). Elizabeth called her blessed (vs. 45) because she believed that the Lord would do what He said. And Mary was chosen by God to be Jesus' mom.

God picked her to be the one to feed Jesus, rock Him, sing to Him, care for Him, kiss his boo-boos, stay up all night with Him, instruct Him, influence Him. 

I am so thankful that I have been chosen to be Hudson and Nora's mom.

When I pray with them at night, I let them hear me say, "Thank you God, for picking me to be Hudson and Nora's mom."

It's not by chance...God orchestrated the events to place these children in my care, just as He did for all the other moms out there. What a privilege to be chosen by God to influence these little lives. 

At our Christmas Moms Group meeting, we had a mug swap. Each mom brought a mug -some were filled with a sweet treat, a small gift card, an ornament, all kinds of fun things. We traded mugs, each mom picking a new one to take home. I encouraged those moms to think about when you open the cupboard to chose a mug for your coffee. Think about those things that make your favorite mug your favorite...color, handle shape, size, a memory attached to the mug. Whatever the reason, you choose a mug for the purpose of holding your coffee. You choose the one that is best and most fit for use. 

Those thoughts led me to these familiar verses:

In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. " 

2 Timothy 2:20-21, NLT

Knowing I have been chosen by God to influence and instruct my children...to mother them, I want to make sure that I am a vessel fit for use. Just as you wouldn't choose a dirty mug to drink from, I want to make sure that I am clean (regularly confessing) and close to the Lord, ready for use. 

But as for me, how good it is to be near God! 

I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, 

and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

Psalm 73:28, NLT

I want Jesus to be the natural overflow of my heart. I want to tell my kids the good things He has done. I want them to know that I am better when I am near the Lord. I want them to know He is my shelter. I want to be fit for use, because the Lord has chosen me. 

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 reminds us that it doesn't have to be weird and stuffy...it can just be a part of your daily life. When you get up, when you lie down, when you go down the road, when you sit down to eat...That's how I want to pour Jesus into my children. That's how I want to be fit for His use. 

So, fellow moms out there...remember that you have been chosen by God to be your child's mother and that it is a privilege to be one of the first people to tell them about Jesus. Think about being that fit vessel for use when you pick up your chosen mug for your morning coffee. And commit to actively invest in your children for eternity's sake. 

Christmas is the perfect time to start - Advent simply means "the arrival of a notable person, thing or event." For believers, Advent simply means we are anticipating that arrival of Jesus. It doesn't have to be hard or in depth...just doing something to lead towards the celebration of Jesus' Birthday. 

1. It could be a devotional reading plan that you are doing on your own. I am using Well Watered Women's Advent study this year and it is amazing to focus on those names of God in Isaiah 9:6.  She Reads Truth has plans to follow. Or this Scripture Writing plan is great as well. Just get in the Word and let it be transforming you, cleaning you, making you fit for use. 
2. Involve your small children in a countdown for Christmas (Jesus' Birthday). And maybe even bake Jesus a birthday cake.  Add a link to a paper chain each day. Put up numbered ornaments on a Christmas Tree. There are 24 stories from creation to Jesus' birth in the Jesus Story Book Bible - read one each night of December. 

Thank you, God, for picking me to be Hudson and Nora's mom. Conform me into the mom that you want me to be. Adjust my attitude. Help me to be like you. Use me to influence these lives for eternity's sake. Help us to anticipate your birthday this season.

PS. Here's some mug ideas I shared with our Moms Group (in case they weren't coffee drinkers)

And my personal favorite tip...stick your phone in a mug for an instant sound amplifier...

However you use your coffee mug...let it remind you that God has chosen you and wants you to be fit for His honorable use!

Moms Matter

I challenged my fellow MOPS moms (and anyone else who wants to join us) to read through the New Testament this summer. You can find the printable reading chart in this post where the New Testament is broken up into 90 segments.

I attended some leadership training last weekend and I keep thinking about one statement that was made by Joann Kraft.

As moms, we have the opportunity to give life twice. 

What a scary, humbling thought - I have the chance to give my children life physically by birth and by helping them grow into the person they are going to become. But I also have the privilege and responsibility to impact their spiritual growth and hopefully their trusting Jesus as their Savior.  I know the impact my mother has had on my spiritual growth - and still does.  I want to have that impact on Hudson and Nora. But in order to help them love the Lord, they have got to see me loving the Lord and His Word first.

I've challenged the MOPS moms to read through the New Testament together this summer and I decided to start my 90 days of reading last night. 

When I saw that Matthew started off with a genealogical list, I wasn't super motivated - But as I read, I noticed that 5 names were different than all of the rest. 5 women. 5 mothers God used...and 5 moms He thought were significant enough to include in Christ's family tree list. 

Tamar

Rahab

Ruth

Bathsheba

and Mary, Jesus' mother. 

Horrible pasts. Questionable occupations. Bad reputations. Even Mary, though she'd done nothing wrong, was no doubt talked about and looked down upon being a pregnant, unmarried girl. 

These ladies were gossiped about - yet God used these moms. These weren't the most popular girls. They didn't have the easiest lives - yet they mattered.

As I underlined their names in pink ink, I decided to look for "mom things" as I go through the New Testament this time. I am praying that I have "eyes to see" what God has to teach me as I read. 

Because moms matter. God uses moms. And I want Him to use me. 

(And I'd love to know who else is reading with me)

MOPS Moments: Courage to be a Sticky Faith Mom

When I think back to people who have had an influence on my spiritual life, my mom is number one on the list. It wasn't that she sat my sister and I down for deep, theological discussions. But instead, I saw that her relationship with the Lord as genuine and necessary.

I saw her sitting at the table reading her Bible in the mornings. I heard her love for Jesus in her voice when she prayed. I appreciated her calm and quiet spirit and her love for encouraging others.

We prayed together as a family in the mornings before school. My parents were so good to emphasize answered prayer and the Lord's direction. Even during difficult times, I was shown that God is in control and takes care of us.

And...I want to teach my kids those same lessons. I pray they see Jesus in me.

Yesterday's "craft" at MOPS was a couple tools to help these moms "stamp the image of Jesus" onto their children. I've been reading            and learning so much from the principles explained.

I love to think that my kids are my mission field right now. The Lord has given them to me to minister, encourage and show the Love of Jesus to.

It is easy for me to think that they are too little. But I have seen that Hudson can already memorize Scripture (If they can memorize Daniel Tiger songs they can memorize verses) and he is sensitive and so sweet during prayer times.

I provided ABC Scripture cards printed on white cardstock for the moms. You can print your own here on my sister's blog. She offers a link for the 8x10" size as well as the 4x3" size.

I told the moms they could hang a string up and use clothespins to attach their cards.Or put it into a picture frame. Or just stick it on the fridge with a magnet. Or punch a hole through each card and keep on a ring. Or put them in a photo album.

Then, we made prayer photo albums. Since kids are super visual, I thought this would help Hudson to keep a prayer list. I had picked up a bunch of those little vinyl flip photo books (about 12 pages each) after Christmas for 10 cents each. I love that you can just slide the cover out and decorate it as you wish. (Similar photo albums).

We will add photos and missionary prayer cards to the album. We may even write specific requests on index cards. Once prayers are answered, we will date the card and put it somewhere special. It is so important for him to SEE answered prayers.

We had a wonderful speaker, too. I was feverishly scribbling down her words of wisdom. For those moms who weren't able to attend the meeting...here's some of my notes.

Being a Sticky Faith Mom - Sandy Harris

Psalm 78:4-7

We will not hide these truths from our children;

we will tell the next generation

about the glorious deeds of the Lord,

about His power and His mighty wonders,

for he issued his laws to Jacob;

he gave his instructions to Israel.

He commanded our ancestors

to teach them to their children,

so the next generation might know them --

even the children not yet born --

and they in turn will teach their own children.

So each generation should set its hope anew on God,

not forgetting his glorious miracles

and obeying his commands. 

We are training our kids, as well as our grandkids, for eternity. 

Building Your Child's Foundation through Prayer

Kids should be prayer warriors in the Lord's Army because they don't doubt. They believe!

Teach them right now to pray specifics so that they can see answers to prayer. 

Teach them to pray for measurable things. (Not just "God bless Mommy and Daddy")

Make a prayer list for your child. Record answers and the dates. 

Instead of telling your kids God said "No," tell them "God had a better plan."

1. Lead them to Christ
2. Teach them to pray
3. Pray about mission opportunities
1. neighbors/friends
2. missionaries
3. sponsor a child
4. pray for a specific unreached people group

Take your kids on prayer walks. Draw out the shape of a country with sidewalk chalk and have them walk around the boarder praying

Mail cards to those your are praying for. Coloring pictures. 

    
  

I pray that you start influencing your children spiritually by encouraging them to pray and memorize Scripture. If your faith is genuine, they will see the real-ness and hopefully want it for their own lives.

Stamping the Image of Christ

I've always loved to read, but once I had children, my "free" hours seem to be getting fewer and fewer. I tend to be a lot more selective with my reading choices. I always have a stack of "waiting to be read" material. Last week, I picked up a book that I have had on the waiting list for several years. I'd fallen in love with this author in high school (she has the best book ever on establishing Biblical guidelines for dating and waiting on God's best - Lady in Waiting). I love that her writing style includes so much Scripture. I was excited to dig into "The Mentoring Mom: 11 Ways to Model Christ for Your Child." Before kids, I might have breezed through this book in a day or two, but now, I tend to "chew" on a chapter for a little while.

I've been contemplating that first chapter for about a week now. The privilege I am given as a mom to stamp the impression of Christ on our kids is overwhelming. I love teaching Hudson Bible verses and singing Christian songs with both kids. We read Bible stories, watch Biblical cartoons and try to reinforce the lessons they learn at church.

I know the impact my parents had on my spiritual growth, and I am excited and scared to death that I have that responsibility with my own children. I think that's why I've been putting off reading this book...If I didn't read it, I wasn't responsible for implementing these truths. The task felt overwhelming. But after the first chapter, I am excited...I want to model Christ to my kids and help them see the importance of devoting their lives to the Lord.

One life wholly devoted to God is of more value to God

than one hundred lives simply awakened by His Spirit.

Oswald Chambers

I think I felt that I hadn't been mentored enough. I felt that I needed to gain more Biblical knowledge and be under someone else's instructions longer before I would be able to adequately train my children. But then I read this sentence...

The good news is, being a mentoring mom is a learned science, 

and as long as you are teachable, you will be able to stamp good images

 on your children's lives.

Mentoring doesn't need to be a formal "sit down and let's talk" weekly appointment. It's simply "making disciples" like Jesus talked about in Matthew 28:19. It means to "stamp and image" on another individual...and I can start stamping the image of Christ on my kids everyday. Hudson asks to pray at meals and before going to sleep. He lists people he wants to pray for, and we are often surprised at his tender, observant heart. The simple activity of praying consistently with him has taught him that prayer is important and necessary.

I began reflecting on those who have stamped the image of Christ on me. Throughout my life, I have been greatly influenced by several key individuals...

I thought of my mom's gentle spirit and dedication to the Word of God. Her desire to encourage others and make her home welcoming to others has helped form who I am today. I remember a modesty talk that my youth pastor's wife gave at a retreat. A professor in college took me under her wing and taught me so much. I find myself asking, "What would Mrs. Martin do?" often. My roommate in college had such a consistent quiet time. Her devotion and dedication stuck with me. Another friend, though older, is memorizing entire books of the Bible. She's taught me that there is always something for me to learn. The Lord prompted me to send a certain Scripture verse to a friend via email after she'd had a miscarriage. That friend told me, "Always follow through when the Lord prompts you to share a verse with someone...It was exactly what I needed." The list could go on and on...

In this "Stay-at-Home-Mom" phase of life,  I often find myself falling into a trap, though. I tend to think that my days of being mentored are over or on pause. But the first chapter in this book addressed that too! Some mentors are even found in the pages of a book. And so, being a list maker, I started writing down influential books in my life. 

I've been mentored by Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. Rachel Scott's testimony in this book encouraged me to keep journaling. Henry Blackaby in Experiencing God. Nancy Leigh Demoss in A Place of Quiet Rest. Carol Kent in Becoming a Woman of Influence. A.W. Tozer in "The Pursuit of God." Francis Chan in "Crazy Love" and Beth Moore in "Jesus the One and Only" and "Stepping Up." The list could go on and on...and I will continue to add to it because I want to remain teachable. I am so thankful that I can be encouraged and influenced by another Christian's written word. These authors will never know it, but they are mentoring me. 

And so, at the end of those days where I picked up toys and changed diapers and wiped noses, I will keep having my time in the Word and my time with a Christian author. Because in order to stamp the image of Christ on my children, I need to make sure I am continually surrounding myself with material that stamps the image of Christ on me.

Finding "Me" in the Midst of Being Mommy

I've had a lot of roles in the past...from daughter to student to employee. From crafter to blogger to decorator to thrifter. From friend to wife to mom. As I've moved from stage to stage in life, no transition was as different as becoming a mother.

Don't get me wrong...it's what I've always dreamed of becoming. From an early age, I'd play with dolls and pretend to be a mommy. I really love every minute that I am able to spend investing in our children. But at times, it feels as if the old me is gone forever.

After I had Hudson, it took me a while to switch roles. Babies take up so much time - they are constantly in need of something. After a few months, I realized it was OK to have some time for myself. I figured out how to get a few things done around the house. I got back to being creative, decorating, cooking and doing the things I love. I found ways to incorporate my creative desires into Hudson's day. Even color-coordinating his books made me feel like "me."

Sure, he may drag half of them out into the floor from time to time, but keeping them organized this way brought me too much joy to change how they are stored.

I had pretty much found myself again...and then baby Nora arrived. I quickly forgot the necessity of making time for myself. The transition was not the same as when I brought that first baby home, but I still had those helpless feelings sometimes. "Will I ever have time to paint my nails or do my hair again?" "Will I ever sleep again?" "Will I have time for Hudson?" "Will the house ever be clean again?"

Luckily, I sort of knew this strange transition was coming this time. I knew that I would want to decorate for fall, but not have the time or energy to do so. I put up some pumpkins the week before Nora was born.

I pulled out my kid-friendly fabric pumpkins that I made last year and put them in places that Hudson could reach.

If he can "get into" a few things in the living room, he seems to leave other "no no" items alone.

What makes other moms feel like themselves may not involve organization or decorating with pumpkins...but regardless of the activity, it is important to not lose sight of who you are. It's so easy for me to get bogged down by dirty dishes and dirty diapers. But when I take time to incorporate "me" times into my day, those dishes and diapers aren't so daunting.

I've also started trying to do "me" things with Hudson. I love to read - so I read Hudson lots of books. I love crafts - so Hudson and I color a lot. I love having pictures of the kids - so I dress them in cute clothes each day and always keep the camera ready...I never know when a picture moment might show up! (And all mothers of newborns know, if you want a picture of the baby in a certain outfit...you had better snap the photo as soon as you get them dressed. Because they always seem to spit up on the cutest clothes!)

And having to sit still to feed Nora isn't all bad...I had forgotten how it was an excellent time to do my devotions each evening. Once Hudson is in bed and the house is quiet, I know I will be sitting still for a certain length of time. I am able to get into the Word without feeling hurried or rushed to move on to the next thing on my to-do list. I have to sit still...

I've been working my way through a One Year Bible - Right now, as I read through Isaiah, I have to admit that the passages sometimes seem a little long. But I have found great encouragement in some of those verses. When I feel discouraged, tired or alone, I have been able to draw great strength from the following passages.

Isaiah 43:2-4

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. 

When you go through rivers of difficulty,you will not drown. 

When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

For I am the Lord, your god, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...

Others were given in exchange for you. 

I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me.

You are honored and I love you. "

Isaiah 49:14-16 reminds me that I am in the "palm of His hand." 

Isaiah 60:1 says, "...for the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you." 

I've found that the quickest way to find myself is to remember who God says I am...I am His. I am loved. I am not alone. I am precious to Him. I am His child. 

As I reviewed this book by Joni Eareckson Tada, (a great read in the midst of times of discouragement) I was encouraged by this quote.

"As I meditate on Scripture, it occurs to me that the glory of the Lord is upon me whether I feel it or not. It rises with me on each new day."

It doesn't matter how I "feel" that day...God still feels the same towards me. 

I love being a mommy...but when I feel out of sorts or overwhelmed, I am learning it's OK to have time for myself. It's OK for me to decorate the house or do a craft. It's OK. Sure, some may say I don't have time for that...but it's who I am and it makes me happy. Jeremiah is always telling me to take time for myself. Although I can't neglect my calling and duty as a home-maker, I am trying to find ways to make what I HAVE to get done seem less like a chore and more like a privilege.

After all, a wife and a mom is exactly who I want to be. And when I take the time to get in the Word- I am reminded of who I am in Christ.

I look at our children and I know that I am doing exactly what God wants for me to do. I love investing in them - and I love to see them influenced by the time I spend with them. And I love knowing that God invests in me in similar ways. I don't have to become some other person in order to be a good mom...I just need to be me and point my kids towards the Lord. I am happier and they are too! 

So, to the other mommies out there...find what makes you, "you" and take time to do it! I think we will all be better mommies! 

It's my privilege.

I've been thinking a lot the past few days. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe it's because my baby is 9 months old now, and I can't believe how fast time is flying. Or maybe I've just swept up too many cereal puffs...I've just been spending a lot of time thinking about this phase of my life. 

Hudson is very mobile now. So, I seem to spend much of my day chasing him. When I'm not in the floor playing, I'm sweeping up little pieces of dropped food or picking up toys. My "free time" is filled with laundry and dishes. My wardrobe usually consists of a t-shirt and yoga pants. My hair is usually in a pony tail. To some, it may seem less than glamorous. But to Hudson, I'm his mom - and in the floor is right where he wants me. He doesn't care if my hair is fixed or not - he just wants my attention and needs my care. When I think about the privilege I have, I get a little weepy. 

I know... this way of life isn't for everyone. I know...some women have to work outside the home. I can only speak for myself when I say, I am glad that I am a stay-at-home-mom. I am so thankful to have a husband who works hard to provide for our family so that I can stay at home with Hudson. It's where the Lord has me for this phase of my life. I do love spending my day making our house a home. 

I don't stay home because I don't have degrees or experience to do anything else. It's is my choice. And for me, it's one of the best choices I have ever made. Sure, it means sacrifices - I get excited over $2 pants from Goodwill instead of buying bags of stuff from my favorite stores at the mall. I shop at Aldi for our groceries. I cut coupons. I don't get out of the house much. But to me, those sacrifices are worth it. 

My mom, who stayed at home with us, told me "It was my favorite occupation! The rewards were extreme!" 

When Hudson reaches for me, gives me a smile, waves as I enter the room - my heart is full and I am so content. But Satan seems to constantly try to get me to doubt my position, making me feel worthless and less than what I am. Deep down, I know that I am in the exact place that God has me, and when I remember that, I get excited and pumped up. But if Satan can get me doubting - I lose that drive to make every moment count. I forget to look for teachable moments with Hudson. And, I guess that's right where Satan wants me -- depressed and ineffective. I recognize the lies that he throws my way - and I've asked the Lord to help me overcome. 

AND HE IS...

My mom had me type up a verse for her to give as a gift at a baby shower. Even, though I was doing the project for her, the verse ended up ministering to me. I plan to frame this somewhere I can read it daily. The Word of God seems to be my best form of defense. 

A few days ago, it came up in a conversation that I have a BA and Masters in Women's Ministry. Someone jokingly referred to it as simply an "MRS" degree - (you know, the girls that go to school JUST to find a husband). I immediately felt the need to defend myself, tell my GPA, give a verbal resume of the things I've done and the experience I have -- but then, I thought, "I really wouldn't want it any other way. I met my awesome husband at school - and I now have a family that I wouldn't trade for anything - I LOVE my life! And God is using me in the exact way He wants." 

Today, at Hudson's 9 month check up (He is 18 lbs, 9 ounces and 27.25 inches...), the doctor asked if Hudson was at home with me during the day or at a day care. I was happy and content to tell her that I stayed at home. But less than an hour later, I was asked my career title. I felt the doubt start to overtake me as I replied, "I'm just a homemaker and a stay-at-home-mom." The person on the phone, who doesn't know me at all, ended up encouraging me when she said, "Those years go fast - enjoy every minute." I am going to try not to say "just" a homemaker. Instead, I want to say it proudly and without doubt. It's my privilege. 

I received a few more bits of encouragement - My youth pastor's wife sent a note to me via Facebook. Although the message was a reply to something I had sent her a few days ago, one sentence was exactly what I needed to hear. "I love seeing that you're already reading the Bible and devotions with Hudson, creating such a great bond and routine for growing him up to know God." 

Another friend sent me a picture of a quote that made my heart swell. In fact, I put it on Instragram immediately. 

So, I approached bath time a little differently tonight. In the words of Beth Moore, "I moved my mind up." I did not want to live defeated. 

We usually sing as Hudson splashes and kicks in the water. I say "we" because as I sing, Hudson has started "singing" too. He holds out long notes, making random syllables with his sweet little mouth. It's totally different that when he babbles. He sings... Really! 

But tonight, as I sang an old song that I learned years ago, I got a little teary. What a privilege to teach him the words to a song that tells of the great things God has done. A little miracle named Hudson was sitting before me - totally healthy. So, we loudly sang these words (Well, I sang the words and Hudson just sang his own random things...)

How do you know God is true? 

I could tell a tale or two

How 'bout you?

Tell me, yeah.

Tell me, tell me, do

'Cause when your life's on the line

You gotta know He's there for you

Every time, I'll be reminding you!

It's my privilege to stay at home with Hudson every day. It's my privilege to be the one to teach him simple things like picking up his food or clapping his hands. It's my privilege to play in the floor all day long. It's my privilege to rock him to sleep and comfort him when he is upset. It's my privilege to sing him songs about God and the great things He has done. It's my privilege to read him Bible stories. It's my privilege to tell Hudson about the miracles surrounding his birth and what awesome things the Lord has done for our family. It's my privilege to raise him to learn to love the Lord. It's my privilege. And I wouldn't trade it for any career or any other way of life. Though many may try to convince me otherwise, I love staying at home with Hudson

It's my privilege.